Children Of The Moonlight
by SweetToothed-Austrian-WannaBe
Summary: Gamzee is a Lycan/werewolf. He tries and yet fails to keep this from his boyfriend/roommate Karkat. Resulting in him being infected too. As they try to hide what they are, it brings back painful memories of Gamzee's past and Karkat's life falls apart.
1. Prologue

Evening pasted over the quiet town, the clouded sky glistened like orange candy floss, the buildings painted ranges of light yellows to deep rich reds, the shadowed allyways and backstreets, gloomed in purples and greys. The streets began to empty and the noise died down, being a small town there wasn't much of a night life, the occasional late night bar or shop and that was it. The spring air was cool with the lightest of chilling breeze to stroke the skins of the town's people.

Where as most people were heading somewhere, whether it'd be late night shopping or hurrying home to family, on this particular night one stood alone in the streets. He was a lanky teen, tall thin limbs, his long raven curled locks framed his face, sticking out in all directions. He watched the sun hidden behind clouds, slowly falling from the sky, taking it's light and warmth with it, down under the harizon. The stars twinkling into the now burgundy sky. Normally he'd love sunsets, he loved their magnificent and yet simple beauty, but not tonight. Despite his senses being at a high, being able to see futher up into the sky, seeing shades of colour other people couldn't, every sight and sound being more vibrant and stimulating. He couldn't enjoy this miracle tonight.

He took another drag of his cigarette, watching as the smoke danced in the air around him, swirling with the breeze, spreading out until the particles were too far from each other to be seen. He took in the ashy smell of it, he couldn't explain it, but he loved the smell of smoke, he loved everything about smoke. The free way it moved through the air, was his favourite part.

There was another smell thick in the air his hightened senses had picked up. The sent of humans. A glorious and lively scent. Each person's scent slightly different, some people's scents would be mixed with their lovers and family, some just had their own unique untouched smell. He didn't like how people tainted such a scent with perfumes, he hated the overpowering, eye watering scents of perfume. No, the natural human scent was one of his favourites. It's why he'd dare to stand out here this long, to take in that scent, it was almost delcious to smell.

He felt a twinge in his chest, a small pain, a tightening and then a release. Sighing he knew that was his sign to get moving, the transformation was starting early tonight. Gamzee stubbed out what was left of his cigarette and made his way to the egde of the town, where a forest had grown in the dip of a valley. The trees stood tall, intertwining with each other, growing wild and where they pleased. The smell and sound of the town began to grow faint as he ventured inside, being replaced with fresh knew natural ones to spark his senses as they continued to highten.

He found himself running now, deep into the trees his body knew this place well, not a root or branch threw him off, until he found a small clearing, where a tree had fallen long ago, creating a gap in the roof made up of greenary. Looking up Gamzee could see that evening had pasted over and the birth of the night had began, soon the moon would be over him. Another pain struck his chest, this time it hurt and it lasted longer too. He hunched his shoulders as it spread down his spine and through his ribs, his organs stiffening unable to operate properly until it pasted.

Moving to fallen the tree, he reached into it's hollowed out trunk, pulling out a backpack he'd stored there. Quickly he removed his clothes placing them in there and back in the trunk before another pain hit him. He cringed again, clenching his jaw to prevent himself from yelping, only a low whine managed to escape. Dropping to his knees he huddled over, the pain spreading through him, like ripples, one right after the other. But unlike ripples they grew stronger with each one, the pain increased with each wave that hit him.

They stopped again, leaving Gamzee gasping for air as his lungs were unable to work under the pressure of it all. He took another look at the sky between the leaves. The unique midnight blue of the the night had set in, disturbed only by the twinkle of the stars. His forest surroundings had been dyed in greys and blacks due to the dim light. Gamzee closed his eyes, taking deep calming breaths, trying to brace himself for what was about to come. He never could. After four long years of this, he still couldn't prepare for it. He still feared it.

An immense pain hit, striking him onto his back, this one didn't ripple it just pounded throughout his body. He couldn't stop his scream, it felt tlike he was being torn apart from the inside. His spine arched from the pain, each pound forcing his body to twist and turn, bend in inhuman ways. He felt his nails turn to claws, ripping their way out of his fingers, the same with his teeth, his mouth and hands bleeding out. He could feel the bone structure of his body, bending and growing, tranforming. His flesh bruised and tore where it couldn't keep up. He screamed until his throat bled, twisting onto his front, dragging his claws through the dirt trying to vent, but it wasn't possible. There was no easing this pain.

The moonlight was on him, he could feel it's presense like it was burning down onto him. The little hairs on his body, began to grow thick, like fur. He was now knelt on all fours, his limbs bending like that of an animal. His ears grew to a point, his face no longer remsembled that of a human but a beast an animal, a wolf-like head. He was no longer Gamzee but a monster, that's all his was now. Even his mind had slipped away, he'd been taken over by the primal animal in him. As the last of the pain from the transformation hit it, the beast let out cry of pain, but not a scream, a howl, a deafening howl, throwing it's head back and raising onto it hind legs as it did so.

It stood there for a moment, taking in it's surroundings, trying to smell out any or near by prey. Gamzee had made sure he'd travelled far enough into the forest so that this thing wouldn't smell out the town and would stay in the woods. Any small woodland creature unfortunate enough to cross it path was killed and feasted upon. That was all this beast was, a primal hunger, it would devour anything that moved and didn't care for conquence. It roamed through the forest looking for meaty scents.

Until it heard something, it ears laid back, twitching to hear it again. A second howl. It wasn't the only beast int the forest tonight. A growl erupted from it as it shot in the direction of the howl, giving it's own in return. Finally it found the other, it was bigger, it's fur grey unlike Gamzee's raven coloured fur. A scar over it's eye, forcing the lid shut. They sized each other up, snarling and baring their teeth at one another. When neither backed down, they lunged themselves at each other. Tearing and shreading into the furry flesh, the creatures bleeding in a battle for territory and dominace.

The teen stirred from his slumber, the soft earth under him moved as he did. Slowly he pulled himself to a sitting position. His body ached, it was exhuasted fro the transformation. He never remembered transforming back, just waking up afterwards. Gamzee looked over himself, he was filthy, covered in dirt and dried blood. Most if his wounds would heal while tranforming, deep gashes and bites marks from the conflict last night were mere scratches now. Not that he remembered anything, it was all guess work to him. He knew about the other Lycan in the woods, it was the one that turned him.

_You are the created and I'm the creator. No matter how much you hate it that bond will always be there. In short, you are mine now, Gamzee._

He shook the thoughts from his head, his stomach would churn every time he thought of that man. Gamzee hated him, he hated himself for being so dependent on him not so long ago, for believing his words, for basically being his lapdog. Bringing his knees to his chest he sat there for a moment, dwelling upon how much he hated that man and everything about him. Before a chilled morning breeze reminded him of something.

He was still naked.

Groaning he brought himself to a stand and wondered back to the fallen tree, not really that bothered about his lack of clothing, but fuck it was cold. He dressed himself back up in his warm snug clothes, the scent of smoke and the town still clung to them, comforting familiar smells. He found his way back to the town and headed straight to his apartment collasping onto his bed, to rest his tired body before work. Gamzee took his calender from the bedside cabinate to mark the full moon next month when he noticed something already circled in red.

Karkat. His grumpy little adorable roommate would be coming home for the college holidays. He let his mind wonder to karkat, the worries of what he was and the one who turned him melted away to just Karkat. His nutmeg coloured hair that almost looked fluffy because of it's slight wild wave. Those chocolate coloured eyes always bursting with emotions, whether it was passion, rage or hurt, they were always beautiful. His rare but adorable smile. The way his body would fit perfect against Gamzee's when they embraced. The adorable way Karkat would have to go on his toes just to wrap his arms around Gamzee's neck. Everything about Karkat was just so damn adorable.

Relaxing again, he let himself fall back to sleep, his head full of nothing but Karkat.

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><p><strong>Because my Gamkat Fic - Obsession, is coming to an end, this will be my next project, but I will not be starting up the main story until the other one is finished.<strong>

**Karkat's nutmeg hair. For those who don't know what shade that is, it's basically a reddish brown. That is all.**


	2. Chapter 1

Concerete walls and a bolted door confined him in the dim lit wine cellar. Gamzee huddled up on the floor by the worn down fireplace. His weary eyes chased dancing shadows casted by the dying fire, his only source of light and warmth. A sickening mixture of ashes, wine and dampness were the scents that filled his nose, the more sickening thing about the tangled sents was the faint but constant sent of blood. Every sense in him was on alert, dispite how heavy and tired he felt, his mind and body was at a unrealistic height of activity and it made all his surroundings so much more intense.

No matter how tired he was, he couldn't relax. Gamzee was waiting for something, no some one, not that he could remember who in this state. His hair and skin was becoming damp from the sweat. His senses made his surroundings more and more abstract and unrealistic by the second. The walls appeared to stretch and bend under the dancing shadows. It terrified him and at the same time there as a strange comfort about it. That it wasn't real, there was comfort in the fact this wasn't real. This had been his prison in the past, but that was no longer the case. He knew somewhere in the back of his mind, he was safe in his apartment.

He curled up tighter on himself, folding his arms so he could drag his nails through his arms, hoping the pain would alert his body to wake. His legs rocked himself, shuffling back to the wall of the fireplace, his breathing growing unsteady, desperate to wake up he resorted to hitting the back of his head against the frame and telling himself out loud to wake up over and over again. All the while the walls moving in on him, the scent of blood now over powering all other smells.

A laugh broke the silence, a laugh that horrified Gamzee, it sent chills down his spine and his body for a moment locked up in fear. He squeezed his eyes shut so his mind couldn't trick him into remembering that face as the laugh grew louder and closer. Footsteps seemed to have acompanied the laugh now. A hand touched Gamzee's shoulder and he let out an involuntary scream, thrashing where he sat, still too afraid to open his eyes he just swung his arms and legs blindly at the air until everything fell silent and his body relaxed again. He let himself lay down infront of the fireplace and stare at the orange glow of fresh ashes and dead flames. As everything started to fade away and his eyelids grew heavy, fluttering to a close.

When his eyes opened again, they were greeted by only darkness and silhouettes too dim to make out. He was lay on his front ontop of something soft, he shortly identified as his bed. To his relief he'd woken up and was safe in his room. He must have actually started thrashing and screaming because his throat hurt and his covers were ruffled and bundled in places. He found himself still shaken from the memory, seeking comfort he reached across the bed for his roommate. Who was still at college and not there. His fist clenched the sheets of the bed and he buried his head into the pillow.

Of course Karkat wasn't there, he would have woken Gamzee up before the dream had chance to escalate, like it did. Gamzee would already be in Karkat's arms, his head resting against his chest, so he could listen to Karkat's little heart flutter with concern, it was both a soothing and adorable sound to Gamzee. Gentle hands massaging his back or running through his dampened hair. While Karkat would tell him things like it's okay or that he's safe now and with Karkat being the way he was there was the occasional moron slipped in there too.

Releasing the sheets from his grip he dragged the pillow Karkat normally slept on and hugged against himself, taking in the faint scent of his little roommate. The scent would have been non exsistant to normal people but he wasn't normal. Almost a month had past since Gamzee realised Karkat was coming home, it worked our perfectly, Karkat would arrive home tomorrow, the day after his transformation. As usuall his senses had been building up all the day before, his body preparing itself for the pain about to come.

He lay there for a moment before the drying sweat started to become irritating and forced himself to get out of bed and head for a shower. He sluggishly moved to the bathroom, flinching as he flicked on the lights and turned on the shower, leaning against the wall. When it had warmed he just stood under the water, too tired to actually wash he just let the water run over him and wash away and remaining tension in his body from the dream. He thought about how it had already been 4 years since he was trapped there. 4 years spent being surpressed by the beast he'd been turned into. 4 years ago he was 15 and full of dreams and wonders, searching out the miracles of life only to find life's cruelity, darkness and curses.

It took him that long to recover, to control the animalistic urges that came with the curse and trust himself around normal people again. Until he found Karkat a year ago he spent most his time concealed in his apartment, occassionally talking to neighbours or at small bit time jobs away from crowds so he could pay his way. Karkat encouraged him to talk to more people and he found a job he actually liked, baking desserts at a cafe. Everything good he had now was down to Karkat and Gamzee loved him for it. He longed to tell Karkat how much he loves him, he had a feeling Karkat felt the same way, they had a casual thing going on, much like they were dating but with out any strings attatched. The way Gamzee needed it, he couldn't get as close to Karkat as he wished to, he couldn't risk Karkat finding out what he was or even worse, getting hurt.

Gamzee pulled himself from his thoughts and turned the shower back off wrapping a towel around himself and returned to the bedroom to dress. The apartment had began slowly brightening up as the sun rose outside so there were no need for lights. He dressed himself in the first pair of pants and shirt in his drawers, he never really cared much for fashion, as he pulled the pants over his thighs his eyes met the scars, like the signature to the cantract of the curse, across the outside of his right thigh. A series of jaggered bite marks, from where the Lycan had tore into him and dragged him through the woods like a chew toy. He still didn't understand why he survived, sometimes he wished he hadn't. He told Karkat a dog attacked him years ago as an on the spot explanation.

Sighing he decided not to dwell on it anymore and finished dressing so he could head to work. Baking would take his mind off it, it was something he used to do with his mother and had always loved it. After work he'd stop by the shop and pick up some pie ingrediants, he'd baked one for Karkat once when he came home from college and it had become somewhat of a tradition since. Then finally he'd head into the wood and well, do what he did every full moon.

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><p>The day had gone as normal, it was quiet that the cafe as usuall, Gamzee had picked up the needed ingreediants for the pie. Gamzee decided to go with a cherry dessert pie, Karkat seemed to prefer berry ones over a sweet and sugary ones. The sun was begining to set already so he'd only have time to drop off the shopping and the leave for the woods. Which meant skipping a meal, again. In the 4 years he'd been a lycan his way with time never improved.<p>

He headed up to his apartment on the third floor, having a quick one handed fight with his key in the pocket that seemed so much deeper with only the one hand free. After that was over he went to unlock the door, only to find it already unlocked. His heart lept. His thoughts imediately went back to the memory he had dreamt about, the laughter. The other Lycan. He froze at the thought of him being in his apartment. His stomach began to twist he wanted to run in the opposite direction, but he couldn't, he'd have to face him. Karkat would be here tomorrow and he couldn't risk them two having a run in and Karkat getting hurt.

Swallowing the fear, he entered his apartment and quickly shut the door behind, Gamzee would happily let the transformation happen right there and tear him to shreds, the risk of innocent people getting hurt didn't even cross his mind at that point. The person his eyes met wasn't the Lycan though, as relieved as he was, it was just as bad of a situtation as his first guess. The sight of this person almost made him drop the shopping. There, sat on the couch was Karkat. He'd just put himself in a room, about to tranform into a bloodthirsty beast with the one he loved, Karkat.

* * *

><p><strong>AUTHOR'S NOTE<strong>

So, I've finally got my head cleared, sorry for making you wait so long. I haven't wrote anything in awhile so reviews would be very much appreciated so I can see if my writing is still up to standards.  
>Thankyou again for being so understanding and patient, SweetToothed-Austrian-WannaBe<p> 


	3. Chapter 2

His heart lept to his throat at the sight of Karkat, the muscle beated frantically, pounding in his chest, the sound of thumping spread to the tip of his ears, the blood flow caused his limps to tremble right to his fingers and toes, his body aching with the instinct to run back out the room. Yet, he was frozen, like the deer in the woods, fear welding him to the spot.

Somewhere under the noise of his heart he could hear Karkat moving, his vision blurred from shock, Gamzee could scarcely make out that his roommate had moved from the couch towards him. A painful jab from Karkat's finger brought him back to reality, no it was more then that, the pain was from the moonlight's power, swelling in his chest, ready to burst through and unleash it's boodthristy beast and his body's instinct to fight it.

Another pain hit him, it was more then just a jab this time it was a wave and it spread through him, to hide the flinch Gamzee could only think of nothing else but to fling his arms around the smaller male, clutching the soft woollen fabrics of Karkat's jumper between his fingers. "Gamzee!" Of course, Karkat squirmed and demanded release from the sudden embrace, but Gamzee couldn't let go, his muscles had locked up from the intense pain.

The pain grew worse, it relentlessly coursed it's way to every inch of Gamzee's body until he blacked out with it. All his senses faded into nothing so he was left with only the pain and the fear that he had already turned, that he had crushed Karkat against his chest, that the beast was currently feasting on his corpse, making it's way throughout the building to other people.

A soft voice called him out from the darkness, Karkat's voice, only he was calling his name in gentler tone then when Gamzee first embraced him. Relief washed over Gamzee, he was still human and Karkat was still alive. Slowly the world came back to him, the groceries where now on the floor, his hand no longer held the bag, his arms had released Karkat to clutch his own sides. Something was wrapped around his neck and shoulders, his head pressed into something soft and an oddly soothing gray colour. The slight raising and falling of this surface and it's quiet but fast beating, told Gamzee that it was just Karkat's embrace and he relaxed into it. The two were no longer stood upstraight but Karkat was sat on the floor, his legs tucked under himself as Gamzee had curled into a fetal position against him.

"Gamzee?" The small teen whispered again, moving a hand to stroke Gamzee's hair. "Gamzee, what's wrong?" He gripped Gamzee tighter, his friend's silence did nothing to ease his fear. He had no knowledge of what just happened, apart from Gamzee had started to fit and scream and it terrified him. But Gamzee couldn't answer, he was still trying to gather his reason and he now had a searing pain in his throat from the screaming, how long had the episode lasted? He longed to just stay there in Karkat's arms, a childish hope that Karkat's gentle touch could tame the Lycan just as in the movies came over him, no, he couldn't risk it. There was no chance of that happening, it was a stupid thought and he was just as stupid to let himsef even for a moment consider staying and putting Karkat in danger.

Gamzee took a quick glance to the window, the safety of the warm sun's glow had forsaken him, it would only be a matter of minutes before the moon would have it's hold on him again. He took this gap in the waves of pain as an gift and detatched himself from Karkat, shakily standing up, while Karkat just stared confused and afraid for Gamzee's well-being. His eyes searched Gamzee for an explanation he could never have. "I'll.. I'll explain later" and before Karkat could even registure that Gamzee had spoke he fled the apartment.

"Gamzee?" Karkat stumbled to his feet, his own body as shaken as Gamzee's from the experiance, but by the time he had gotten to the hallway outside their apartment, Gamzee was gone. He combed his hair with his fingers, trying to make sense of what just happened and why did Gamzee run away? He searched his mind until it hurt, he took a quick look up and down the empty hallway, apparently, his neighbours didn't care enough to seek out the source of Gamzee's screams, before returning to his apartment and shutting the door.

Dragging himself to the couch, Karkat allowed himself to collapse there, his eyes glanced back to the groceries abandoned on the foor, but he didn't have the mind to pick them up right now. In fact, his mind wasn't with him at all it was with Gamzee, his heart ached with concern for his friend, for his love. Gamzee had aways been odd, that was clear to Karkat with in a few moments of knowing him but this was something completely knew to Karkat. Discomfort surged through his body, causing him to squirm on the couch until gave in and sat up, pulling a cushion to his chest in a futile attempt to vent his the emotional pain.

He sat there confused and alone, aching with concern, tears came to his eyes a few times but he dared not let them fall. Gamzee was in a state as it was, he had no way of finding his friend so he'd have to remain, or atleast, appear strong for when he came back. As seconds swiftly turned to minutes and the hours dragged on, Karkat's will to stay strong grew weaker, it was a wonder that the cushion didn't tear in his desperate grip. His eyes only left the door to flick to the clock, he didn't read the time, just noticed the how far the hands had moved and felt another blow to his confidence that Gamzee would return during the night.

The room grew darker as the night set in, lit only by an eerie moon and one small lamp next to the couch, the purple shade cast it's low, gloomy colour over the room. An occasional set of footsteps pasted, with every one Karkat's hope futtered that it would be Gamzee and twisted with the fear of his condition, only for his spirits, taunted as they were, to be crushed when a different door then their apartment was opened. How long he sat there didn't know, but he had noticed the hands on the clock had pasted into the morning and his eyes were growng heavier with every tick, his resistance to sleep grew weaker with every tock. Eventually his battle became one he couldn't win and he gave over to slumber, falling back down onto the couch.

With his senses unalert is mind was free to taunt him further and his sleep was not with ease, visions of Gamzee screaming in pain, pleading for it to stop, fitting again and falling down, never to get back up flooded his mind. No matter how much he tossed and turned, his mind refused to shake the terrirfying thoughts or allow him to wake. The rest of the night felt like an eternity of torture.

When he woke again, it was a peaceful wakening, though his body was damp with sweat and there was a still a slight tremble in his bones, there was a short moment of blankness, the events of the night before and the dreams left him and is mind was blissfully hazey. His surroundings came back to him before his mind did, he found he was no longer in the front room but the bed room, warm and tangled in under the covers as he puzzled how he had come to be in bed when he had no memory of moving there. When the night before came back to him.

As he turned onto his back to sit up, he felt something heavier then the just covers fall onto his chest. He quicky became aware it was an arm, he was not only tangled up in the covers but Gamzee's arms too. The small teen stared at the other male, he became over come with relief his hands reached out to touch Gamzee's sleeping form, first his face, making sure he was actually there, down to his chest, where they met a steady heartbeat. The relief collect tears in the corner of his eyes and turned his lips upwards into a smile, Karkat pushed himself against Gamzee's chest and remained there, listening to Gamzee's breathing and soft heart beat.

Once the relief that Gamzee was okay and safe at home passed, another emotion took hold of Karkat. He pulled out of Gamzee's arms, sitting up. Gamzee's pillow was swiftly removed from under his head, aburptly waking him and before he could get his bearings, Karkat threw the pillow back down at his face. A confused and amost afraid yelp left him as the second hit was dealt out, luckly he had time to sheild himself this time, but a third and forth came before he had the mind to take the pillow from his roommate.

He shot up to meet glares with Karkat, thrusting the pillow somewhere in the room, it must have knocked something over because they heard a thud, but neither looked in it direction, they were too busy furiously sizing eachother up and forming an argument in their minds of who was in the wrong here. A sigh left Gamzee and his features softened seeing the tears still hanging from Karkat's lashes, instantly his guilt over powered his anger. He reached out to stroke the tears from the chocolate orbs, "Karkles.." He began, but the explanation Karkat so desperately wanted never followed. They sat in silence as there eyes battled, Gamzee's begged for Karkat to let it go and Karkat's determined for an answer. Finally Karkat spoke, "Where did you go?"

"Just around, needed a smoke." Gamzee shrugged off the question and let go of Karkat climbing out of bed to dress. But Karkat wasn't so easy too give up. "Then what that was last night?" Gamzee wasn't so quick to answer this time, how could he explain it, he couldn't. He turned his back to Karkat as he dressed, chewing his lip as he sought for a reply, no matter how flimsy, any was better then none. "I told you, I needed a smoke. I tried quitting, withdrawal, I guess"

"Then why did you run off? Why didn't you just tell me that? You stayed out until God knows what time, do you have any idea how fucking worried I was?" Karkat stood too, his tone of voice grew more shaky, angry and hurt with each question and Gamzee's patience was running thin. The beast was still inside him, not quite asleep, not powerful enough to change his form but enough still to control Gamzee to some extent. For a moment he could have sworn a growl left him as Karkat relentlessly questioned him.

The rage quicky boiled with in him, after dressing he span round and subsequencely shoved Karkat back to the bed "Just leave it Karkat! I got my own shit to deal with, I don't need your motherfucking moodswings aswell!" Regret hit Gamzee as fast as the anger had, his tone was harsh and the push was harsher, Karkat could barely recover he was that shaken from it. He felt it in his chest, the moon still had her spell on him, it was as if he could hear her laughing as he hurt the one he loves. Now considering himself dangerous and unsteady he needed to be away from Karkat until he could control himself "I have to go, the eggs broke when I dropped them" Excuse made, he exited the the apartment leaving Karkat once again confused and hurting.

Karkat let himself fall back to the bed, his hand held the swore spot on his chest where Gamzee had pushed him. He could see what he had done wrong, he didn't know the dark secret his roommate had kept from him all this time, how cpuld he possibly have known he'd done something wrong. The tears fnially left his eyes, silently with out even a quiver of his breath. He didn't even notice them until enough of them had fallen to dampen his nutmeg hair just under his ears, irritated by it, he turned to his side, gripping the covers so his could hide his face in them. All the while his mind questioning what was happening to his gentle, loving friend Gamzee?


	4. Chapter 3

Tormented with the sick feeling of the creature still stirring in him, Gamzee ran. He ran from his apartment, onto the streets and into the town. Aching leg muscles were forced to carry the lanky teen's weight, through the streets, now and again colliding with strangers with out stopping to help them or himself recover. He didn't much care for the odd person he knocked aside, he needed to be away from Karkat. That's the only thing that mattered, being far enough away, so that Karkat was safe until the beast in him had slipped into it's slumber until the next full moon.

Having only a few hours rest and the transformation last night was taking it's toll on his body. His heart hurting and his body exhuasted, Gamzee filed himself deep in a narrow ally way and slumbed against the cool, shadowed wall. His breathing was heavy as if the air was laced with thick wool, drying and clogging his throat, with every other breath he had to swallow to wet it again, until his breath was caught. He rested there a moment, his mind a haze while he allowed himself to recover from the run. Naturally he was lazy and with out the moonlight's spell on his body he was unfit.

The way he had treated Karkat before he had stormed out played over in his mind. The little guy was nothing but concerned for him, he knew that and he'd hurt him. No, Gamzee would never intentionally hurt Karkat, but it was the thing he had become, the curse that bound itself to him had done this. The hate for what he was struck anger in his core, he hated it, he hated himself. Gamzee turned to the wall and pressed his head against the cool brick work. Thinking hurt, hating himself hurt too. He felt like his brain was swelling in his head, about to burst out of his skull.

He brought his fist up to the wall too, pressing them hard against the rough bricks, trying to control his rage, but it only took but a few seconds for Gamzee to realise that it wouldn't work. His rage flowed through his arms, his fist crashed against the wall, he dragged the skin of the sides of his hands and his knuckles down the wall until they grazed and tore. Gamzee figured it was best to hurt himself instead of Karkat, so he thrashed harder, thrusting his knees and feet at the wall too, the blood spilled from his hands and appeared in spots and blotches at the knee of his pants.

"What on earth are you doing?" Gamzee lept at the voice, he span round and pressed his back to the wall, like a cornered animal, eyes frantically trying to find it's owner. He found the voice had come from a short, curvy woman, her waved dark hair was tucked away under a little white hat and an apron with a cartoon mustache across her breast wrapped around her plumb pear shaped frame. "Gamzee, that wall never did a thing to you, leave it be." She spoke again in a joking mannor. The teen came to relax where he stood, he realised that his instinct had taken him somewhere farmiliar and safe to him, the cafe he worked at and this was his employer, Jane.

The small smile that had been resting between her rosy cheeks disapeared once she saw the state of his hands. "Oh, good heavens you'll never be able to bake with those!" She took one of Gamzee's wrists in each of her hands and held them to her face, that close he could have knocked off her thick oval shape glasses. The rage in Gamzee melted away as she held his hands so tenderly, if anyone could match Karkat on Gamzee's adorable radar at was Jane. Only unlike Karkat, she was such a bundle of lovable cheer it was impossible to hold a single hurtful feeling around her. Like a puppy Gamzee wanted to crawl onto her cushiony lap, but he was far too tall for it and he wasn't a child.

In that moment all the hurt and anger that had built up inside of Gamzee turned to tears, quickly flooding over his lids and tumbled down his face. He felt his jaw begin to tremble as he tried to hold back a whimper. Jane being much shorter then him, barely even reaching his collar bone in height, couldn't see his tear soaked face. He remained silent as she removed her apron, revealing the white frilled blouse under it, to wrap it around his hands, it was warm from her body and soft on his wounds. The quietest choke left his throat as she took his hands in her's again and her gaze shot up to his. "Deary me. Gamzee you're such a state, you'd better come inside, I'll put on some tea and you can have some cake. We'll talk about things, okay?"

With a shakey nod the lanky teen follwed her into the kitchen, warm and steamy from her baking. She sat him down and petted his hair for a moment a concerned look on her face about what to do. Gamzee just stared at the apron wrapped lovingly around his hands, tilting his head to the side at her touch. Jane placed her finger to her lips and made a tutting noise as she thought and watched Gamzee. "I'm sorry." Gamzee uttered, feeling guilty for putting her in this situation, it wasn't the first time either. He felt guilty for everything, hurting Karkat, leaving him alone and breaking down on Jane. He felt useless and good for nothing like everywhere he went he just caused pain.

"Nonsense, Gamzee. It's perfectly alright... Everything's going to be alright." She gave his shoulder a squeeze and lightly kissed his forehead, before adding, "Now, I'll get you that tea hm?" That said, she moved to the front of the cafe to set up a tea tray, leaving Gamzee alone. His vision was blurred from the crying and the drying tears irritated his skin. He slipped a hand out of the cloth to wipe his face with a sleave before placing it back inside the soft fabrics. Sighing he looked to the door Jane exited through, he could hear faintly humming from the other side. Gamzee was thankful for an employer like Jane, she was sweet and cared for him greatly. He fancied her like a mother figure and could always turn to her. Even if it was just to cry, she didn't press for answers, she just wanted him to get the negative emotions out of him and be happy again.

A pang of guilt hit him as these thoughts crossed his mind, because he had allowed Jane to console him but so cruelly rejected Karkat's concern. He wondered what must have been going through Karkat's mind right now, he felt so easily abandoned. His friends did it a lot, the moment they had a love interest or a new friend, they'd forget Karkat and then expect him to pick up the pieces afterwards. Gamzee had seen it happen more then once. He wanted to kick himself again and run back to Karkat, but he couldn't just leave Jane here confused, so he sat fidgiting in his seat annoyed that he couldn't ever do the right thing for anyone.

It wasn't long before Jane's contagious joyful presence returned easing Gamzee's guilt just that little bit. She backed into the kitchen, pushing the door open with her backside, innocently giggling her odd 'hoo hoo' laugh to herself as she balanced a tray in her hands. Gamzee watched as she busied herself setting out the various dainty cupcake treats, frosted in mainly blues with the most delicate patterning on them. A matching pottery tea set settled down next to them, how the tea hadn't spilled all over the place, with the hop in her step Gamzee didn't know.

Quietly she poured the tea into the cups and added the ridiculous amount of sugar into Gamzee's so that he'd drink it. While Gamzee checked his hands again, the bleeding had stopped and he folded up the apron and engulfed sugar swamp of a tea, as Jane seated herself, sipping her drink. "Now, do you want to tell me why you were beating up a wall?" Gamzee stared down at his cup, swirling the thick liquid with his hands, as he thought. "Got into it with my little roomie" He mumbled after a pause, saying it out loud only made him feel more guilty. Sighing Jane took to moving around the untouched cakes on the table,"I suppose, I'll have to put you to work then. Up. Up. Up. If you want to hide from your problems here, you can make yourself useful." She chuckled again as she stood up again and pointed to the cooker. It brought a smile to Gamzee's face, a weak one but it was something.


	5. Chapter 4

The rest of the morning Gamzee spent delved into his work. Baking dessert pies and cakes, watching Jane so skillfully and gracefully decorate them, occassionally trying a few himself, painting he could do, but the delicate craftmanship of icing was a talent he seemed not to posess a lot of. A few more people arrived who worked in the kitchen, but Gamzee paid them no attention, it was only him and Jane who baked the desserts so he felt no need to.

As a result of the scrapes on his hands, Gamzee remained in the kitchen, people wouldn't want a man who's hands currently resembled a bald stray after a fight, handing them food or taking their money. Which was a shame to Gamzee as he liked to people watch. The sounds of the cooking, pans steaming and Jane's laughter filled the kicthen, while people's chatter and the occasional ding of the doorbell was faintly heard when ever the door opened. But dispite these distractions, Gamzee was never competely content, the thought of happened between him and Karkat and his curse, was ever present in his mind.

The aching in his chest never left him, it only dulled alittle. Occasionally when there was no need for more desserts and Gamzee switched to washing up for awhile it spiked again. He'd catch his reflection in the water and was reminded about how much he was disgusted with himself right now. He'd pause with sigh or a quiver of his lip when the argument he and Karkat had came flooding back, how he left Karkat and proberly screwed up one of the few and best friendships he had. But with it being a small cafe and small kitchen, Jane would notice and the pain was dulled again by her soft hand on his back and some kind words along the lines of "It'll work out Gamzee" or "I'm here if you need me".

After awhile Gamzee's guilt had gotten the best of him and working became impossible. He stood at the wash basin, staring down at the soapy water. In his head he was looking straight into Karkat's wounded eyes, the pain in those ever trusting eyes brought tears to his own. There was little Jane could do to quieten the teen down this time, so she decided it was best to let him sit down and let the guilt out. Crying infront of people wasnt something Gamzee had done since he was a child, Jane and Karkat maybe, but not the kitchen staff and he didn't like it. The way everything seemed to go quieter which made his sobs louder to him. It made him feel more pathetic, he hadn't anything to cry about. Karkat was the one he hurt, not the other way round. 

Still, he continued to cry, rubbing this eyes with the plams of this hands, wincing now and again when the salty liquid soaked into his cuts. Gamzee curled his legs into his body, on the same chair Jane had sat him down earlier, trying to disappear from the world. What he wouldn't give for that? It wouldn't mean just dying, he could do that easily, but to never had existed, never felt pain or been alone, like his was destroying everything and everyone he touched. The tears stopped falling and instead remained bunched up on his lid an lashes, blurring his vision, though he kept his face buried into his knees, not wanting to face the people around him. He wrapped his arms around his head, blocking out the sounds of the cafe, thinking of the one thought 'What if I never existed?'

He lost track of how long he'd remained in that position, the world around him had blacked out for what he thought to be a while. He thought in a cool black shroud of nothing and it calmed him to have a clear mind. But he was shook from it by Jane's gentle hand on his shoulder, without lifting his head he groaned as a response. "Gamzee, I need you to serve a customer at table 6. The order's waiting at the counter." 

"But I-"

"Oh Bother. Gamzee, no buts. I'm your friend and your_ employer, _now up to it." With another poke to his shoulder, she then flittered off to decorate her desserts. Gamzee sighed and slowly unbundled his limbs from around him, scrubbing his eyes one last time, though the tears were gone. He didn't question the fact he was being sent to serve, (even though had Jane previously told him to stay in the kitchen) nor was he happy about it, his face was proberly red from crying and he didn't feel in any mood to be exchanging pleasantries with costomers.

Dragging himself out to the front of the cafe he asked for the order. A slice of cherry pie. like the one's he made Karkat. His jaw clenched to hold back the emotional storm that was ever brewing inside of him, he couldn't break down infront of the customer. It wasnt until he looked for the customer he realised the significance of that particular order. There, at table 6 sat Karkat, his head propped up on his hand, looking very unimpressed at the sight of Gamzee.

Swallowing the lump in his throat, Gamzee had to face this sooner or later, he'd just have to trust Karkat not to make a scene, he made his way over. "Is that everything?" He asked as professionally as his emotionally aching form would allow him. "No, it isnt. Jane called me. Sit your idiot ass down."

Awkardly Gamzee obeyed and sat opposite karkat. He shifted in his sit, nothing about this situation was comfortable, while Karkat adjusted his position to sit up, sizing up Gamzee. Their battlefeild, or a table as it would look to normal people, was situated by the window and was Karkat's regular table. The sun shone bright outside, despite the grim atmosphere that was suffocating that corner of the otherwise happy little cafe. It dazzled in Karkat's stern eyes, which seemed never to blink. The silence was unbareable.

Still Gamzee refused to be the one to break the silence, his mind immediatly set to the defencesive, even if it was a weak one. He wanted to look anywhere but those chocolate orbs that where staring into him. Finally Karkat was the one to break the silence "So, are you going to explain what happened this morning and last night?"

"I already told ya, Karkles"

"No, you gave me some shitty excuse.. I thought you trusted me more then that." Sighing he picked up his fork poking at the pastery dessert infront of him, he gave averted from Gamzee's to stop him seeing the hurt that flashed in his eyes. But he hadn't been quick enough, Gamzee saw and slumped in his seat, the guilt once again building in his chest. "I Do.. I just.. All up and panicked.. An-"

"Gamzee, are you doing drugs again?" The question was abrupted, Karkat's gaze had become determined and stern, but not cold. Gamzee could see that, as he stared dumbstruck into them, there was a dwindle of care in there. It was true in the past to deal with himself Gamzee had taken up smoking weed and possibly the occassional ecstasy pill. He had never been as bad as he lead Karkat to believe, it was an easy was of hiding what he was, excuses to be out of the house each month. That was yet another bad habbit Karkat had saved him from, if he hadn't quit, he new it would have only been a downwards spiral from there.

"Karkles, it ain't like that, I told you I tried quitting smokin' and I just.. I flipped out like a motherfucker.." He shrank into himself, feeling lower then ever for lying to Karkat over and over again. 'It was for his own safety' he told himself. That didn't stop the pain in his heart from lying to the one he loved.

Karkat gave a sigh, not entirely oblivious to the fact Gamzee was lying, deep down he knew there was something more then just withdrawal symptons at play here. Yet denied it, for his heart sank at the thought of Gamzee lying to him. He outstretched his hand on the table, his palm facing up, waiting for Gamzee's to be placed in his own as a sign that they had forgiven each other. The lanky looked at his own torn hands compared to Karkat's with caution, he didn't Karkat upset and more then he already was.

"It's okay, Gamzee, Jane told me.." Karkat said softly just loud enough for Gamzee too hear over the rest of the cafe, but to anyone else he'd appear to be miming. That voice broke into Gamzee, his defenses fell. There was no grudge or judgement in Karkats voice then, it was just pure love and care, the way they'd talk at the end of the day, curled up on the couch of their apartment, in the dim purple of lamp shade's light. He took hold of Karkat's hand and squeezed it tight, like it was the last time he'd see Karkat, as if their hand where each other and he had Karkat captured in his arms. But it was Karkat who had him captured, when he rested his other hand on Gamzee's, warming them in his soft touch.

He glanced back up at the smaller teen, who gave him warm smile. He smiled back, it was weak due to the wanting to cry, but he smiled none the less. He knew then, that Karkat wouldn't leave him, just as Karkat had assured him everytime they argued. As much as he loved Karkat, it killed him alittle inside to know that he was selfish enough to allow Karkat to be in danger, in staying by his side.


	6. Chapter 5

The pair sat together until Karkat had eaten his pie, Gamzee had shuffled his chair round and they sat lent against each other in their own world, not caring for their surroundings. But once Karkat had finished, Gamzee had to clear the table an return to his job, with a sweet chaste kiss goodbye, the smaller teen left to head back to their apartment.

His walk home was taken at a slow pace, distracted by his thoughts. It had been awhile since him and Gamzee had been that cosy in public. It took a moment for him to release it was their first kiss on the lips in public. The thought made Karkat's cheek heat alittle, he touched his lips, absentminded of the people around him. He knew he loved Gamzee and he was pretty sure Gamzee felt the same, yet their relationship had always been casual. They shared a bed and where openly affectionate towards each other, however neither of them had openly admitted how much they cared for each other and it was starting to bug Karkat.

He was pulled from his thoughts by a buzzing in his pocket, his phone. Inspecting the caller ID it read 'Douchbag' meaning Sollux his worst best friend ever. Karkat had known him since childhood and although they were always there for another, it was only ever to rubs salt in the other's emotional wounds. Sighing he answered, knowing if he didn't it'd only lead to a shitstorm of texting later. "What do you want?" He asked in a irritated tone.

"Nice, I take time out of my day to ring you and that's the tone I get. Real fucking friendly Kk."

"Since when were you my mother? Just ask me your fucking question already"

"Hey, I'm actually concerned here, you asked him out yet? I'm getting real tired of all your whining about your feelings like a 13 year old girl from some fucking disney."

"That's not concern asshole." The teen groaned rubbing his head, thankful he'd just reached the apartment building, he couldn't see himself being civil for much longer. It didn't help that he was picturing Sollux with that annoying grin, the one that screams narcissism. "And no, I haven't. It's not exactly easy to tell someone you love them"

"It is when you're fucking with them. I'm sure you scream it to him every night"

"Shut the fuck up, Sollux. You don't know anything."

"Considering how much you tell me, I think I know more about you and Gamzee then you do... But on a serious note, you need to tell him dude. I don't like seeing you all hung up and insecure on your emotions, it's depressing knowing I can do shit about it."

Karkat sighed fiddling around for his keys to his door and opening it. "Look I already said I was going to this time-"

"Said that last time too."

"Shut up, I said I will and if I don't you can destroy all my Will Smith movies."

"Great, now I don't want you too. Thanks Kk, you douchbag, you've offically made me want you to be miserable, happy with yourself?" That brought a smile to Karkat's face, they were terrible friends and the worst for each other, still Karkat couldn't help but love Sollux as a brother. Karkat sat down on the couch, they talked for awhile about less serious stuff and soon moved on to the subject of gaming, to which they lost the phones and moved onto their consoles and headsets and their swearing increased tenfold.

Time flew by, Karkat had been sat in that spot for hours now, his body sank into the couch leaving a possible perminate dip there. When Gamzee returned he was still sat there gaming and swearing. "Sup, bro" He received a mumble of a reply and a quick wave of the hand. Gamzee chuckled alittle, it amazed him how into those games Karkat was. He took a drink from the kitchenette and leant against the side, waiting for the inevitable to happen, Karkat to loose the game.

Which didn't take long, Karkat never did have a chance when Sollux was playing, sure enough his lost. "God fucking damn it!" Both the controller and his head set were thrown down onto the couch as his crossed his arms and hunched up resisting the urge to kick at the floor, having already made the below neighbours angry and multiple occassions. It didn't help he could faintly hear Sollux laughing hysterically through the abandoned head sets. Temper still boiling he picked them back up and lifted the mic to his mouth "Fuck you Sollux, just fuck you!" and with that he turned off the head set and console, resuming his sulking position.

"Karkles, you need to calm down, no point getting all hot and bothered over a game" Gamzee spoke through his unsubtle chuckle and sat next to Karkat, draping his arms around the smaller teen, who didn't even move. "Bad for your soul."

"Don't start that bullshit" The comment brought another chuckle from Gamzee, who now had his head sat on Karkat's shoulder. "It's not bullshit, it's the miracles of life. Every motherfucker's got a soul inside 'em, not bullshit"

"Yes they do. You do. You're full of bullshit. It's bullshittery all the way down with you." Karkat replied, gesturing down Gamzee's body and turning into his hold. "I have a gaint bullshit container for a roommate."

"Aw, no need to all up and get nasty, Karkles." He replied pulling Karkat onto his lap as the shorter teen relaxed in his hold and rested his head against the nutmeg hair his loved so much. Karkat's freckled cheeks flushed slightly as his mind turned back to the conversation he'd had with Sollux about telling Gamzee he loves him. Now would be a perfect time right? They were alone together all cosy on the couch, there was nothing stopping Karkat exept his own awkwardness. His heartbeat fastened at the thought, he'd have to do it, his Will Smith DVD collection and emotional happiness was at stake. "Gamzee, I love you.." He mumbled hardly louder then a whisper and his heart immediately tensed up with a knew sense of vulnerability.

"I love you too, Karkles" Gamzee replied, passing it off as an unserious comment due to the conversation they'd just had. "No Gamzee," Karkat started before pausing to turn in Gamzee's hold, so he could face him and straddling his lap. His cheeks only reddening even more with his embarrassment, taking Gamzee by surprise. "I mean.. I mean, I really do love you, and this casual thing isn't working anymore. I want to be with you, like... Well, like boyfriends and do stupid boyfriend things together. When I meet people I want to go, hey this is Gamzee the guy I fucking love and we're dating."

"Karkles I-"

"And it's okay of you're not as serious about this.. I mean, I don't mind being the one ahead, I just.. I needed to say it. I love you." His heart pounded in his chest, the astonished look on Gamzee's face didn't help his nerves, his rambling drifted off into nothing, he couldn't look Gamzee in the face, he just stared off to the side, the silence was killing him.

"Karkles" He still didn't look, he'd conviced himself Gamzee didn't feel the same and that he was about to be rejected. Gamzee forced his gaze, cupping his cheek and turning his face back to his own. He looked into the chocolate eyes and smiled, finding his little roommate completely adorable. Karkat was reassured alittle by Gamzee caring midnight blue gaze but it was still hard to read due to his own insecurity in that moment. The lanky teen pulled Karkat into a passionate kiss. They pressed against each other, Gamzee trapped Karkat's body in his arms, as Karkat's wrapped around the other's neck, one hand tangling in Gamzee's curled locks. They were lost in each other, their heat, scent and their heatbeats against the other's chest.

The kiss was short, but heated and left them both with heavy breaths, they didn't pull away from each other, their lips just parted and they rested their forheads together, taking in each other's breath and body heat. "I love you too, Karkles." The short teen's heart lept at the words and his lips were quickly pressed back against Gamzee's.

**Author's Note.  
><strong>Sorry, I just read through this again and noticed a lot of mistakes, I think I've corrected them all now.. At least most of them.


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